I'm missing you

MY LOLA

I'm missing you

          My heart was left broken by the time you left me. Days have been past but my love for you just keeps on growing. Years have been past but I'm still wanting your warm and gentle touch. 

              If I could just turn back the time when we are together I promise not to let you go. Promise not to make you feel bad and not to make you feel in pain. I might not be as perfect as you want but I promise to make you feel proud of me.

             I tried to be strong like you but I always fail. I do my very best not to let others see how hurt am I but I can't. Each time I remember how I saw you hurting, I can't pretend that I'm happy. I want to be strong like you but I can't.

            Remembering each day with you makes me feel loved. Everything that we had was so magical. My memories with you will never be erased. They will linger at the back of my mind coming and going as they please to.

            And now another year of my life is coming and I'm celebrating it without you for the second time. I don't wanna be sad because I know you want me to be happy but the situation makes me feel this way. I'm fighting the fight you left me and that is to live in happiness but how can I be happy if I don't feel complete?

          I know that there are things that cannot be turn into your life again. Things may change because nothing is permanent.

             You might not be here but in my heart you"ll stay forever.

Love?

love?

What if there is someone who makes you happy?

Someone who makes you smile when you’re sad, someone who pushes you up when you’re down and someone who will always say: “its okay” every time you feel it’s not okay?

What will be your reaction? What will you feel? And how will you respond?

Will you feel just thankful or will you fall in love?

Love?

Hmmm…

Love comes in an unexpected time, place and unexpected situation. Sometimes we don’t see it but we can feel it. We often teach our minds to deny it but our heart can’t lie about what they feel. We let ourselves be busy enough to set aside what we feel. We ignore it, but love really has their own way towards us.

I don’t know actually the real explanation for love or the exact description of what I feel when I’m in love.

To be loved by the one that you love will make you feel completely insane.

Right now I’m in love and I don’t know how to express the feelings that I have in the most simple way. Maybe because I want every moment to be precious like a diamond.

I smile because it is what my heart tells me to do.

I laugh because it is what my lips want to do.

I became happy because it what my heart feels when I met him.

Like the tall tree that sways every time the wind blows,

My feelings for him will keep on swaying in the air that

Will make us feel free to move.

Like the ocean that has no boundaries,

My love for him will travel across the deepest part of the ocean that

Will let me seek for more of him.

But, will this feeling continue until the end?

Or will it just be like an air that will pass on you just to make you feel comfortable?

 

SAD

Every time I see someone judging others,

I can't help myself but to be hurt.

Every time I see someone crying,

My eyes can't help but to pour out its tears.

Every time I see someone saying bad things against others,

I can't help it but to say "Hey! It's wrong!"

Affected?

Yes I do...

Because, I know the feeling.

The feeling of being judged by the people around you 

whom unfortunately are the persons who are CLOSED enough to make you feel in pain.

The acts of crying because of the things that hurts you,

Crying because of the uninvited situations in your life,

And Crying because of SOMEONES' FAULT.

The feeling of receiving all the negative things in your life,

Receiving the thoughts of knowing how people PULL YOU DOWN.

It's just so sad and it really makes my heart fall into pieces that in real life, there are really those person who will say anything just to make you feel bad or maybe just doing things because of their wrong belief.

Well, I can't please everybody but,

I WISH I HAVE A MAGIC ERASER

TO ERASE ALL THE PAINS & HURTS

THAT I'M FEELING NOW.

i love being me

i love being me

some people say that i'm so "maarte", not that friendly and not approachable. what they don't know is that, i can also be a friend whom they can turn on every time they need. a shoulder to cry on at times that they want to cry. a joker who can make you smile even when your sad and a friend who can brighten your way even if you're in the deepest part of your way.
 i might not be as good as others but one thing is sure, i can be a friend whom you can rely on not just in good times but also in bad times.

i often laugh and smile. i'm a happy person but i always cry because of the things that made my heart in pain.
i am not ashamed to cry in front of the crowd. i'm proud to show that i'm crying coz' im not a strong type of person. i tried but i failed. i may be the weakest person that you'll ever know but i won't let others hurt those people whom i love and care for.

i am very flexible when it comes to music. i remember one guy called me as an "earphone girl" because every time he saw me i am wearing my earphone as if that i have my own world.. but yes it's true, i have my own world. a world where nobody knows it.. a world of silence and peace. i love listening to old musics, jazz, bossa, love songs and instrumental. i do cry when i heard some music that made me think of my past experience that really made my heart broke but anyways it's past.

i love writing.
it is my passion.
it is where i say all the things that i can't say literally.
this is what my heart wants me to do.
without writing i am nothing.
this is my life.
i write when i am happy.
i write when i am sad.
i write when i am mad.
writing just makes me feel complete.
i write all my feelings, all my burdens.
i don't write to make somebody feel sorry to what they did to me.
i write because it is where i feel freedom.

people might judge me by the things that they see within me, by the actions i made and through the words that i say i don't mind as long as i know who am i.
i love being me and i love all the things that i do.
:)