what do i feel?

What do I feel?

Hmm..

Is it right to say that: “sometimes I hate being me.”

Or is it okay to say that: “often time I just want to hide the true me”

     

Actually I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know how to react with the things that is happening in my surroundings. For the mean time I feel no good at all.

Alam mo ba yung feeling na sometimes hindi na ako yung ako? Ang gulo eh… yung tipong di mo masuot lahat ng gusto mo kasi you’re afraid nab aka mapuna ka na naman na di sayo bagay masyado kang payat tignan, kailangan ito yung susuotin mo. Kailangan ganito. Kailangan ganun.. ofcourse I DO APPRECIATE their comments but sometimes di mo maiiwasang hindi mainis kasi sobra sobra na yung comments??? Yung comments na beyond limits…

I tried to be the best I their eyes but I always fail. I do things that they want me to do.. if they are telling me to buy this one ginagawa ko naman kasi it fits me” daw.. pero yung tipong pag sinuot mo may comments pa din sila… di ko naman ginusto na maging payat ako eh…

Hayyyy.

Well I’m feeling better hihihi.. nasabi ko na kung bakit ako naiirita pero isa palang yun.. second is that.

Minsan na nga lang ako umuwi syempre ang gusto ko ay sabay sabay man lang kami kumain… Saturday evening ako dadating ng bahay.. kakain kami dinner tapos matutuog na agad ako kasi super pagod. Sunday magsisimba ako gabi na ako uuwi tapos di man lang kami makkapag sabay sabay ng kain… for me it’s nakakainis kasi eh.. ayaw ko ng ganun.. hehe..

So maabaw ng kinaiinisan ko diba?

Okay lang yun atleast may pinaglalaban.. hehehehe

Well, yun lang naman…

J

the new Me

hello!!!!!
it's been a long time since i write again!
anyways just to update you my readers i had a hair cut look!!

well yes it's too short hmmm... but i like it.. it feels so different and i knew why boys spend so much time fixing their hair rather than girls...

errrr... ang hirap kasi mag style!!! and i also felt what they feel.. yung feeling na pag pasok mo sa cool area after walking along the sunshine mararamdaman mo yung hapdi sa batok mo!!! grrrr... it hurts you know.. heheh
anyways i'm already missing my long hair.

I look so girlie here. haha
and i look so different. it was like a girl turned to boy.
well im happy it lessen my stressful mind and body.
di ko nga actually alam yung salitang "pahinga" eh.
:)

im happy doing things alone.
im happy deciding things on my own but with the guidance from God.
im happy seeing things being achieved by me.
being alone or probably being an independent made me realize many things like:
i can stand by my feet.
i can be more excellent.
yes, my heart was broken but God said that He is closer to those who are broken hearted.
God healed me because He saw my sufferings and efforts.
I am not perfect and God doesn't require me to be perfect.
He didn't say that i will have a STORM FREE LIFE but rather A STORM PROOF LIFE. I am so blessed.

Valentines day

Valentines Day

     For some, hmmmm no. For many people hehe valentines day is special but for me it's just a normal day. Giving flowers, chocolates, going out these is what some are doing but me?? huh! I don't have any plans. (bitter??nuh-uh)

     We celebrated teachers day in our school where we danced and it was fun. yeah it was! really! Until my bestfriend texted me.

(conversation)

me: where are you

kelvin:   Here outside your school.

     I ran. expecting that our school guards  will let them go in inside our school facilities but it's a FAIL. I was so disappointed when  our guards told me that they can't entertain visitors even if we have a program. I felt bad. Then I saw Kelvin with another friend and that friend was a friend of mine too.. hahaha And that friend gave me a gift. and i knew it was a shoes. The one that i've been longing for(shoes)..

     I really love it.. Before valentines day I was upset because I asked my mother if can I have a token of appreciation for having a good grades (because i want to buy this shoes) but she said "NO" so I wasn't able to get this but someone bought it for me.. waaaahhh.. SO HAPPY.

     We have a dance so I didn't have a chance to entertain my friends that much so I went inside our school and sit down at the corridor with my friends while waiting for our intermission. I opened up the box and yes it was the shoes,, yehey.. :D Then I noticed a note on the box saying:

     And when I opened up it was a letter,,, A touching letter saying:

    

      Hello, First of all I wanna greet you a heart deny. I know you are always happy. Secondly you might ask me what is this for and why. uhmm, I will answer directly and ito naman kasi yung totoo. I bought this thing kasi gusto ko e. I saw the smile bursting in you nung hawak hawak mo yung shoes. I know you love it, I checked my ATM and wala pala sa wallet ko so I didn't say it at niyaya ka na lang pauwi. I saw you in disappointment but I wanted to buy that. That's why I got back there to buy it di ko alam size mo eh. alam ko 7. Queenie, accept it. I'm happy coz I saw you smile.

         

   While I was reading the first letter my heart just beats so fast and my eyes are starting to pour out its tears.I started feeling the pain. Reminiscing things made me just cry more. hahaha (drama queen) And then I read the second letter:

          Time passed and things changed I saw you changed for better. I also changed. I know that you know that I'm still in love with you. Yes I am. I know you're already okay and tingin sakin friend na lang. Inspite of that I know I loved you more in distance. Not because I don't text or talk too much, it doesnt mean I don't love you. I can be the other way around. I might have love you more. Whatever it took me. Ligawan ka ulit gagawin ko, I believe kasi na hanggat di ako pagod at alam ko mahal kita, I can do things. I always love you. I don't promise kasi ayaw mo yan. But as long as I decided to love I will do it.

     After I read those letters I cried more. hahaha because I was touched. I just thank God for giving such a wonderful and loving people to me...

    Anyways the totality of Valentines day for me this 2013 is not bad. :D

     

     I just feel so loved. THANK YOU GUYS!!

     

     HAPPY HEARTS DAY!! <3  

 

  

For ZIAAAAAAA

 James 1: 2-4

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.


--sabi ng Lord lahat ng Trials consider it PURE JOY,,
alam ko may sari sarili tayong problema, may maliit, may malaki, dipende kasi on how you view things eh. pero It is a test of Faith.
ganu ka ba katagal kakapit? bibitaw ka ba agad? mapapagod ka ba agad?? ayun kasi yung mga usually na questions eh. minsan matataung mo pa sa sarili mo. bakit ikaw? eh madami naman jang iba...
alam mo sabi jan na through faith you develop perseverance..
perseverance means kahit ganu kahirap yan sige go lang ng go!! reason?? kasi kasama mo si Lord eh. may kasama ka.. GOD IS BIGGER THAN YOUR PROBLEMS..

through those trials you'll be mature and complete..
it is just a test.. try to evaluate yourself. tanung mo si Lord kung anu yung dinidevelop nya sayo or kung anung gusto nyang malaman mo. for sure may answer yan!! BE PATIENT..

:D

Enchanted Kingdom 2K12

--super fun. :D
i rode the rides that i dont want to ride.. hahaha
well thanks to my cousins.. super enjoy! :)

18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20 Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’[b]

 

John 15

 

GOODMORNING!

Thanks to my bestfriends

It's Wednesday! and I have a date..

:)

A date with my bestfriends...

ang usapan is 1:30 but then... kElvin showed up like 2 o'clock?? 

 but everything was worth waiting for.

It a great day.

Kelvin, Elden and I watched Dark Zero Thirty..

The story was good but the totality of the whole movie was so disappointing..

(wala man lang kasing mega barilan)

 well while we are watching the movie we can't help but to tease each other so funny.. we are so noisy inside.

hehe

anyways I had FUN..

I ENJOYED..

I LOVE MY BESTFRIENDS!!

THE BEST!! 

 

I just feel so sad.. that's it