what do i feel?

What do I feel?

Hmm..

Is it right to say that: “sometimes I hate being me.”

Or is it okay to say that: “often time I just want to hide the true me”

     

Actually I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know how to react with the things that is happening in my surroundings. For the mean time I feel no good at all.

Alam mo ba yung feeling na sometimes hindi na ako yung ako? Ang gulo eh… yung tipong di mo masuot lahat ng gusto mo kasi you’re afraid nab aka mapuna ka na naman na di sayo bagay masyado kang payat tignan, kailangan ito yung susuotin mo. Kailangan ganito. Kailangan ganun.. ofcourse I DO APPRECIATE their comments but sometimes di mo maiiwasang hindi mainis kasi sobra sobra na yung comments??? Yung comments na beyond limits…

I tried to be the best I their eyes but I always fail. I do things that they want me to do.. if they are telling me to buy this one ginagawa ko naman kasi it fits me” daw.. pero yung tipong pag sinuot mo may comments pa din sila… di ko naman ginusto na maging payat ako eh…

Hayyyy.

Well I’m feeling better hihihi.. nasabi ko na kung bakit ako naiirita pero isa palang yun.. second is that.

Minsan na nga lang ako umuwi syempre ang gusto ko ay sabay sabay man lang kami kumain… Saturday evening ako dadating ng bahay.. kakain kami dinner tapos matutuog na agad ako kasi super pagod. Sunday magsisimba ako gabi na ako uuwi tapos di man lang kami makkapag sabay sabay ng kain… for me it’s nakakainis kasi eh.. ayaw ko ng ganun.. hehe..

So maabaw ng kinaiinisan ko diba?

Okay lang yun atleast may pinaglalaban.. hehehehe

Well, yun lang naman…

J

the new Me

hello!!!!!
it's been a long time since i write again!
anyways just to update you my readers i had a hair cut look!!

well yes it's too short hmmm... but i like it.. it feels so different and i knew why boys spend so much time fixing their hair rather than girls...

errrr... ang hirap kasi mag style!!! and i also felt what they feel.. yung feeling na pag pasok mo sa cool area after walking along the sunshine mararamdaman mo yung hapdi sa batok mo!!! grrrr... it hurts you know.. heheh
anyways i'm already missing my long hair.

I look so girlie here. haha
and i look so different. it was like a girl turned to boy.
well im happy it lessen my stressful mind and body.
di ko nga actually alam yung salitang "pahinga" eh.
:)

im happy doing things alone.
im happy deciding things on my own but with the guidance from God.
im happy seeing things being achieved by me.
being alone or probably being an independent made me realize many things like:
i can stand by my feet.
i can be more excellent.
yes, my heart was broken but God said that He is closer to those who are broken hearted.
God healed me because He saw my sufferings and efforts.
I am not perfect and God doesn't require me to be perfect.
He didn't say that i will have a STORM FREE LIFE but rather A STORM PROOF LIFE. I am so blessed.